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tifferz312's Journal

Hey. I'm Tiffany. This is my livejournal, i have a xanga but this is way cooler. biographies are way stupid, because most people never know enough about themselves to write it down. But if you want to know about me, i have this livejournal, hence the point of a livejournal. If you add me to your friend list, PLEASE introduce yourself. cause its completly weird having people who have me on their friend list without knowing who they are. I talk a lot, but really, its always the quiet ones you have to watch out for, and you always can tell what im thinking about.

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“Being in a pop band is the weirdest, most impractical thing to do.” — James Mercer

"When books are burned in the end people will be burned too."-Heinrich Heine

"Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored."-George Saunders, last words

"we live in a cruel cruel world and no one is being nice."-unknown(by everyone else, just not me)

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."-Albert Einstein

"Get all the fools on your side and you can be elected to anything."-Frank Dane

"If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?"-Scott Adams

"It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper."-Jerry Seinfeld

"Is sloppiness in speech caused by ignorance or apathy? I don't know and I don't care."-William Safire

"You can tell the ideals of a nation by its advertisements."-Norman Douglas

"Television is more interesting than people. If it were not, we would have people standing in the corners of our rooms."-Alan Corenk

"Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one marked 'Brightness,' but it doesn't work."-Gallagher

"One of the few good things about modern times: If you die horribly on television, you will not have died in vain. You will have entertained us."-Kurt Vonnegut

"I think that parents only get so offended by television because they rely on it as a babysitter and the sole educator of their kids."-Trey Parker and Matt Stone

"I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling, I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle."-Mitch Hedberg

"You can't have everything. Where would you put it?"-Steven Wright

"The future is much like the present, only longer."-Dan Quisenberry

"When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty."-Norm Crosby

"Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up."-Pablo Picasso

"I can't understand it. I can't even understand the people who can understand it."-Queen Juliana

"I have seen the future and it doesn't work."-Robert Fulford

"The hour of departure has arrived, and we go our ways - I to die, and you to live. Which is better God only knows."-Socrates

"Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic."-Dan Rather

"Half of the American people have never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half."-Gore Vidal

"Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then--we elected them."-Lily Tomlin

"An Englishman is a person who does things because they have been done before. An American is a person who does things because they haven't been done before."-Mark Twain

"We all have the extraordinary coded within us, waiting to be released."-Jean Houston

"Today's public figures can no longer write their own speeches or books, and there is some evidence that they can't read them either."-Gore Vidal

"How to Raise your I.Q. by Eating Gifted Children"-Lewis B. Frumkes, Book Title (1983)

"Like anyone else, there are days I feel beautiful and days I don't, and when I don't, I do something about it."-Cheryl Tiegs

"We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world; and its efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read."-Mark Twain

"Education is a state-controlled manufactory of echoes."-Norman Douglas

"Truly great madness cannot be achieved without significant intelligence."-Henrik Tikkanen

"If I knew what I was so anxious about, I wouldn't be so anxious."-Mignon McLaughlin

"My friend is one... who take me for what I am."-Henry David Thoreau

"Gray skies are just clouds passing over."-Duke Ellington

"He who never made a mistake never made a discovery."-Samuel Smiles

"The worst thing about Europe is that you can't go out in the middle of the night and get a Slurpee."-Tellis Frank

"There are many who dare not kill themselves for fear of what the neighbors will say."-Cyril Connolly

"Nothing is impossible. Some things are just less likely than others."-Jonathan Winters

"If there were in the world today any large number of people who desired their own happiness more than they desired the unhappiness of others, we could have paradise in a few years."-Bertrand Russell

"All I can say about life is, Oh God, enjoy it!"-Bob Newhart

"The pursuit of happiness is a most ridiculous phrase; if you pursue happiness you'll never find it."-C. P. Snow

"Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak it to?"-Clarence Darrow

"The more you find out about the world, the more opportunities there are to laugh at it."-Bill Nye

"Laugh at yourself first, before anyone else can."-Elsa Maxwell

"You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing."-Michael Pritchard

"The thing that impresses me the most about America is the way parents obey their children."-King Edward VIII

"It's not the thing you fling. It's the fling itself. Let's fling something!"-Robin Green

"The only joy in the world is to begin."-Cesare Pavese

"It does not prove a thing to be right because the majority say it is so."-Friedrich von Schiller

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards."-Soren Kierkegaard

"I have a rock garden. Last week three of them died."-Richard Diran

"The Constitution gives every American the inalienable right to make a damn fool of himself."-John Ciardi

"I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters."-Solomon Short

"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody."-Bill Cosby

"The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one."-Elbert Hubbard

"Of course the game is rigged. Don't let that stop you--if you don't play, you can't win."-Robert Heinlein

"I had a monumental idea this morning, but I didn't like it."-Samuel Goldwyn

"A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success."
Robert Orben

"Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?"
Robert Orben

"The best luck of all is the luck you make for yourself."
Douglas Macarthur

'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.
Mark Twain

"There is no security on this earth; there is only opportunity."
Douglas MacArthur

"You are remembered for the rules you break."
Douglas MacArthur

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.
Groucho Marx

"Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless."
Bill Watterson

"The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us."
Bill Watterson

"Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer... Who'd have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously?"
Bill Watterson

"If your knees aren't green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your life."
Bill Watterson

"I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can play together all night."
Bill Watterson

"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them."
Walt Disney

"All the adversity I've had in my life, all my troubles and obstacles, have strengthened me... You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you."
Walt Disney

"Crowded classrooms and half-day sessions are a tragic waste of our greatest national resource - the minds of our children."
Walt Disney

"It's kind of fun to do the impossible."
Walt Disney

"There is more treasure in books than in all the pirates' loot on Treasure Island and at the bottom of the Spanish Main... and best of all, you can enjoy these riches every day of your life."
Walt Disney

You can't have a light without a dark to stick it in.
Arlo Guthrie

Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for - in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.
Ellen Goodman

Life is tough, and if you have the ability to laugh at it you have the ability to enjoy it.
Salma Hayek

If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain.
Maya Angelou

Whenever it is in any way possible, every boy and girl should choose as his life work some occupation which he should like to do anyhow, even if he did not need the money.
William Lyon Phelps

Irrigation of the land with seawater desalinated by fusion power is ancient. It's called 'rain'.
Michael McClary

It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it.
Lou Holtz

Life is ten percent what happens to you and ninety percent how you respond to it.
Lou Holtz

Hope is like the sun, which, as we journey toward it, casts the shadow of our burden behind us.
Samuel Smiles

It is a mistake to suppose that men succeed through success; they much oftener succeed through failures. Precept, study, advice, and example could never have taught them so well as failure has done.
Samuel Smiles

The reason why so little is done, is generally because so little is attempted.
Samuel Smiles

"I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."-Ralph Waldo Emerson

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